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The Turning Circle Of Life

8/20/2016

The singing has stopped, the house is silent. The little white car no longer pulls up on the drive at around 4.50 pm every night. Yes, Susie B and I now have the place to ourselves. Daughter has flown the nest and moved into her own house.

We had her at home for 23 years and 6 days – yep, she moved out six days after her 23rd birthday.

She’s a talented singer and dancer, having taken part in countless shows over the years, and my wife and I have spent many a night watching her perfect her routines and listening to her songs. And after she came in from work she raided the fridge for a snack before disappearing upstairs for her daily rigorous workout.

She’s followed in the footsteps of her brother – he’s been nicely settled in his own home for a couple of years.

So, for Sue and me, a new stage of our lives begins. A stage of looking back at what we hope was a happy childhood for both our offspring. I like to think we gave them the best start in life, providing love, comfort and understanding, and always being there for them when they needed us.

Ah, those memories of us taking Charlotte to dancing competitions and shows, and Chris to tennis tournaments throughout the UK and Europe – for a couple of years we took our main holiday in Torquay while Chris competed in the Torbay Open. And I well remember Charlotte winning us a family holiday with her dancing.

Fortunately both Charlotte and Chris live less than quarter of an hour from us, so I guess we’re better off than many parents whose children end up moving many miles away.

The circle of life turns. One moment you’re leaving the nest yourself – I remember so well the day Sue and I moved into our first home and started our wonderful adventure together. Then your own children came along…but all too soon you’re holding back the tears as you proudly watch them setting sail across the world’s uncertain waters as fully independent adults themselves.

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Serious Flash Fiction - #Brilliant!

8/13/2016

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A 34-page book, with 44 stories in it! And all of those stories have a maximum of 129 characters in them!

Yes, okay.... not characters as in people characters. I'm talking about characters as in the number of letters and spaces in the story.

"WHAT?" I hear you cry. "129 characters to tell a WHOLE story?"

Yep. For Twitter afficionados this will all make perfect sense. That particular social media platform restricts individual posts to just 140 characters.

Which was the inspiration for Ben Warden, who has compiled this lovely little project that he describes as "an adventure into a crazy new world of alternative storytelling."

He posted about it on Twitter...and I was smitten. I submitted my 129-character story, and I'm delighted to say Ben accepted it, and it appears in this quirky little anthology.

Sneak preview time. Here's my story in Serious Flash Fiction, just to give you a little taste of what to expect:

Gasping, choking, thrashing around, eyes bulging. Life draining away. Looking up into heartless eyes. The fish out of water died.

So can I suggest that you hotfoot it to Amazon and pick up a copy of this little gem.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Serious-Flash-Fiction-Anthology-character-ebook/dp/B01IYA0AR0/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1471091407&sr=1-1&keywords=ben+warden

Finally, I'd just like to share the 5* review of Serious Flash Fiction, that I posted on Amazon:

Where do I to start to review a 34-page book which has 44 stories in it?

OK, a brief explanation first. Each of the "stories" originally appeared on Twitter under the hashtag #SFFiction. The concept was the brainchild of the anthology's editor, Ben Warden. While tweets have a maximum character count of 140, Ben's ruling was, with the hashtag, the "stories" should be just 129 characters.

So here we have a wide variety of stories -- a brilliant new magician's trick, someone's last thoughts as the hangman opens the trapdoor beneath their feet, an assassin's kill, an extremely emotive story from Kate Sykes, and a particularly horrific car theft.

Hope I've whet your appetite for this unmissable gem.

Ah...now I know how to review it. It's just gotta be in 129 characters, hasn't it? A quick read, but one which I can thoroughly recommend. A successfully executed challenge for both established, and new writers.

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How One Word Made All The Difference

8/7/2016

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My guest blogger today is Letitia Prescott. And she's writing on a subject close to my heart -- recovering from mental health issues.

Those of us who've been there, and, indeed are still there, have our own coping strategies. But Letitia's fascinating insight into her own recovery processes makes fascinating reading.

When I first heard my support worker Alice* use the term ‘recovery’, I remember we were sitting outside a cafe and I thought ‘I don’t think she really understands how this all works.’

Not because I didn’t trust or respect her but because it sounded alien to me.

I had never come across that word before in regards to mental health. Like many people, I had assumed that recovery wasn’t possible for a psychiatric disorder, that it wasn’t a reality unless there was a 100% cure.

When I came under the care of Second Step, a southwest mental health charity, I was twenty seven and life was difficult.

Letitia Prescott, with Hector

On their website, they write that ‘We pride ourselves on our innovative approach, based on the principle of recovery. We always make sure that the people who use our housing, support and psychological services are at the heart of everything we do, shaping the way our services are delivered.’

At the time, I struggled to keep up with washing, cleaning, eating/sleeping properly, turning up for appointments, bills, having healthy relationships/boundaries and ultimately keeping myself safe. During my late teens, I was diagnosed with Bipolar I disorder (rapid cycling with psychosis) and OCD. It’s hard to explain how bad things were but my twenties were blighted and getting over each episode was like a house of cards.

In subsequent meetings with Alice, the word recovery came up again so I just went along with it. She was genuinely interested in what kind of future I wanted and the things I wanted to enjoy. Maybe I wasn’t doomed after all? So I began by taking the tiniest practical steps like making my bed every morning ‘Even if I feel horrific, I’m making it!’ It was strange but it felt good.

Alice asked for my opinion about everything we discussed. She encouraged me to manage my health in a way that made me feel that I had options, and that I had a real say in how to prevent and overcome future episodes. If I could have some quality of life despite the symptoms, then maybe I wouldn’t have to keep running in treacle in a quest to fight the diagnosis.

One thing that helped me considerably was the Recovery Star (see picture), from Mental Health Partnerships http://mentalhealthpartnerships.com/.

There’s something empowering about being the one to decide the number on the scale. To reflect on the different ‘outcome areas’ allowed me to write down achievable goals that fed my motivation.

I would then compare the stars as the months went by. Unsurprisingly, there were days where I would just slump with my head on the table and not be in the mood for it. And that was okay too.

I came to understand that it was possible to have support whilst focusing on being independent at the same time. Within weeks, I was showing progress with my flat and finances. For the first time in years, I was checking my incomings and outgoings and doing the washing-up regularly. This new ‘recovery’ word was providing a glimpse of light at the end of a long tunnel. For example, despite having social anxiety, I joined Slimming World to lose the extra four stone I had gained (Fry Light is amazing!)

Of course, coming out of my comfort zone wasn’t always easy, in fact there were often heart palpitations and beads of sweat and setbacks, but my mindset had shifted. I wanted to care about my wellbeing and have regular sleep, meals and exercise. And I didn’t just talk about it with Alice, I actually did it. Once upon a time, those things would barely have got a look in. I was too busy either hiding in bed with a bombardment of intrusive thoughts or riding a wave of chaos and crashing onto a desert island.

That original tiny step of making my bed every day set the cogs in motion and would later lead me to give up caffeine, alcohol and cigarettes – each step would encourage the next and I took them at a pace that I could cope with. Sometimes, I wondered if I could sustain them long term but I kept going because I didn’t want to not keep going. It’s now been years since I had a cup of coffee, a drink or a smoke, and it’s a choice that I protect for my sake and that of my loved ones.

There were times when people made comments that suggested they didn’t have faith in me giving up or that they didn't think it was possible to have fun without a drink. Everyone is different but I know that quitting has made life safer and less stressful whilst giving me the freedom and clarity to manage my symptoms. I’m glad I decided to be stubborn and go against the grain because the house of cards now has a cemented base.

In the last few years, person-centred counselling and support groups have also played a big part in helping me move forward. Looking inwards was challenging but it pushed me to be more caring and reliable with my loved ones. Taking responsibility isn’t about beating yourself up – ultimately I didn’t set out to do any of the behaviours that were brought on by a manic state. But what I try to do these days is look back and think ‘What can I put in place now so that the next ride is a bit more comfortable for myself, and those around me?’

Two years after my first meeting with Alice, Second Step asked me to help facilitate recovery sessions in my hometown. It was amazing to be teaching people all about the recovery approach. The irony was that I was very unwell during those sessions but me turning up and participating is what recovery is all about!

There are some fantastic wellbeing tools to be learned that suit our own personal needs and interests. Tools that help us to feel more relaxed, healthy, sociable, creative and independent. For example: listening to an audiobook (when we’re struggling to read), learning a new recipe or having coffee with a friend. Ones I use include writing as it helps to break the cycle of rumination and brings me clarity when I’m overwhelmed. I’m not a sporty person (at all!) but a good walk helps when I’m feeling low even if it’s just to the local shop. Small steps allow me to strike a balance between what I need to do and what I’m able to cope with. One of the most important tools I put in place is getting a meds dosette box delivered every week. No more rummaging through my rucksack!

The wonderful thing is that these wellness tools, however big or small, all contribute to having a more independent and fulfilling experience.

An episode could come along next week, next month or I may even be experiencing one right now but the important thing for me is that the word ‘recovery’ is there at the back of my mind. The shock of realising that I’m in decline again will always make my heart race but I feel more confident because I’ve learned positive ways to cope. I’ve also come to recognise that there are many other effective tools that I can learn in the future, and that gives me a great sense of hope.

Alice* not her real name

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Star Trek - Providing Technology And Love

8/6/2016

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My guest blogger today is Daniel Woolmer -- who looks at how our modern day technological advances could be down to Star Trek, and at an online dating service for Trekkies!

From the visions of the TV screen 50 years ago when Star Trek made it debut, things really do seem to be morphing in to reality, don't they?

In 2010 the very first iPad was launched which is remarkably similar to the 1960’s Star Trek PADD. Starfleet Yeomans would frantically pass this to Captain Kirk asking for a signature to confirm vital shipboard operations. They are the spitting image!

On to the communicator, nowadays it’s called the mobile phone. This was an iconic piece of Star Trek technology remembered for “Beam me up” and the first mobile phone followed the design from this.

Then came the In-ear comms. Lt Uhuru was well known for using the first in-ear comms, originally designed for ship to ship communications the device is instantly recognizable to a Bluetooth device! These things have changed our lives in so many ways with apps, even into how we communicate, research and date! So set your Phaser to stunning and find your Imzadi on TrekDating.com!

Because you're not the only Star Trek fan out there!

I mean who wouldn't mind a sexy women dressed up in a Trek uniform strutting their stuff? Well they love it & so should you.

Meeting your PERFECT Star Trek lover is only a couple of clicks away. At Trek Dating they are all about one thing - getting you set up as quickly as possible. So Ladies & Gents... You better work on your Star Trek knowledge because this is what turns their members on!

They strive to be the No 1 Trek dating site in the world and want you to have a great time with all the Trek lovers you are going to meet. Know what you like? You’re going to get what you are looking for and they have got your back.

Trek Dating has one mission.

Do you want to connect with the world’s biggest Trek fans? Currently the service is available in the UK, Ireland, USA, Canada, South Africa, New Zealand and Australia.

If the thought of falling for someone who can speak Klingon with you & share your geeky fantasies, then Trek Dating is for you! They are looking for Starfleet Singles to get your GEEK on with. Sign up and join for FREE today as all you need to do is fill out your profile and add a picture.

You'll be good to go within 5 minutes and you can start flirting with Trekkies straight away, with so many Star Trek members waiting for you to share their interests and connect, they have had 500.000 join the site so far! If your Straight, Gay, Lesbian, TS, TV or a cross-dresser, they have someone special waiting for you!

When you first join, you become a free member.

As a free member you can create a profile, add a photo, search for people by country, create your favourites list and send unlimited winks. You’ll also receive an email if someone adds you as one of their favourites, winks at you or sends you a message.

If you do decide to become a full member, you will also be able to send and receive private messages, chat online with instant messages, see who’s viewed your profile, add multiple photos to your profile and create, read dating diaries, subscribe to mobile alerts and much more.

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The Turning Circle Of Life

Serious Flash Fiction - #Brilliant!

How One Word Made All The Difference

Star Trek - Providing Technology And Love

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