CM:   Simply, it’s a satirical manners book. The longer version is that it’s cobbled together from the experiences I’ve had to endure, or watched others have to endure, shown through a prism of hilarity. I tried to make it funny so people would actually read it, as well as it being incredibly fun/cathartic to write that way.

​The larger goal: That humanity learns from the laughs enough to improve itself before the workers riot. I can only imagine how many service industry employees would murder their customers if given the chance.

It took about three years to write and put together. It started out more as just a joke piece for me to relieve the pressure built up after work, but then it started being genuinely funny. I moved onto other areas like the Smoking Circle section, and figured there are things that everybody should know, but nobody is actually out there distributing pamphlets. That just evolved into whatever else I could think that might make us nicer, or at the very least, more bearable, as a people.
 
I’m always considering sequel ideas, just because they make me laugh. From a simply expanded version, to an international version where each chapter is different host-countries with guest-writers, to even a Presidential edition “honoring” the Commander in Chief. It just depends if I can find an idea that sticks, and is practical. The Trump edition would probably outweigh a dictionary, and I frankly have no idea what I would have to charge for that.

CM:   That’s really up to them. They could just get a laugh, learn how to be a better human being, or use the book as a gift that informs their friend in a safe (out-of-swinging range) manner of a particular habit they don’t particularly enjoy with their custom ending.

I guess it’s the philosophical equivalent of having a comic give you a decency lesson. I suppose you could even use the book like an Anarchist Cookbook, and improve your skills at being a blight upon the species without learning a thing.
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CM:  It's available on Amazon, at:  https://www.amazon.com/How-be-Asshole-Carl-Mills/dp/1546343172/

Website purpose and pathway
 
Refer: The client is referred to Youngkind by their GP, school, workplace, family or will find us directly themselves. Contact is made with the individual as a first triage point. The client will input responses from queries and grant a consent in order for the website to work through its algorithms.
 
Match: Each professional member in the Youngkind database will have completed their profile to match tags, queries and confirm accreditation. The website will search through queries that consider distance, area of expertise, previous working history, success rate, treatment demographics and availability. The patient will be presented with results so that they are able to make a more informed selection of who to reach out to with the intent of selecting them as their treatment provider, guided by the Youngkind team.
 
Assess: The selected treatment provider will assess and confirm the needs of the client and agree a treatment plan. A diagnosis report typically will have already been completed by the GP, or other medical professional, and will be shared with the chosen therapist with the individual client’s consent.
 
Treat: The selected provider will commence the treatment plan, posting an hourly log of therapy sessions conducted, a progress update of the client and will confirm the next appointment agreed with the client.
 
Discharge: Once a course of treatment has been completed and the provider is happy to discharge the client, they remain on our database for regular follow up communication to assess and prevent any regression in symptoms.
 
We need to go much broader to achieve any level of success. For that we will need the right help from appropriate partners to get the visibility and support to reach the network of young people in need. Our aim is to become the first point of call for patients that aren’t in an immediate risk of life, working with GPs, Schools, Councils, Government, Mental Health Units and CRHTTs.
 
The NHS Five Year Forward Target is aimed at helping an extra 70,000 patients receive treatment per year. If Youngkind could help meet a proportion of this, then the benefits to young people would be compelling.
 
We would then be looking at our pledge policy, trusts, media donations, charities and the NHS to increase the funding gap to enable us to accept as many additional ongoing referrals as possible.
 
We need one referral to save a life, it only takes 60 seconds.
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4c5WgWPKuk
 
Youngkind website: http://youngkind.org.uk
Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sM_haanztaM
Youngkind Twitter: twitter.com/Youngkind_
You can see my JustGiving page here: https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/youngkind
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Who’d have thought I could actually take to an idea put forward last year by Michael Gove? After all, he’s not considered by many (even in the Tory party) to be a man possessed of much sense, ethics, charisma, personality or…well, anything, really.

I remember reading a couple of years ago that the National Grid was struggling to keep the lights on, as it is. So Mr Gove’s lightbulb moment of banning all new petrol and diesel vehicles by 2040 didn’t seem to be the most electrifying idea he’s ever had.

Actually, hold hard…it is electrifying. Electrifying for vehicles, anyway. Yes, sounds good in theory, to do away with dirty petrol and diesel, and we’ll all drive electric cars.

But there are two problems with that at the moment. First: the range of most electric cars is pathetic. A couple of trips to the shops and you’ve got to plug it in like a mobile phone. Secondly, just how does Mr Gove think the National Grid will cope when the nation’s drivers all recharge their batteries?    

Of course, technology could come on in leaps and bounds in the next 22 years and resolve those issues. For instance, Tesla are now producing electric cars with a far longer range, even though they’re still much more expensive than traditional vehicles. So, hopefully by 2040 long range electric cars will be available at a reasonable price tag.

And maybe, just maybe, cheaper and cleaner electricity could be on tap. Maybe we’ll all be meandering our way between millions of wind turbines. Isn’t it the eventual aim that we’ll never be more than ten feet away from a wind turbine, in the same way we’re said to never be more than six feet from a rat at the moment?

And here’s where I spy a real glimmer of sanity in Mr Gove’s wider proposals – and the idea I could really take to: our local councils could be ordered to rip up their ridiculous speed bumps, which almost double the amount of harmful gases cars pump out in their immediate locality by causing drivers to constantly slow down and speed up. So every cloud has a silver lining.        

I’ve come to accept that I am so deep-rooted in my ways that I may never be able to completely move past my mental illness, though, it doesn’t mean that I can’t work with it. I have done so much soul searching, and I think I am really starting to accept that my past is in my past and I can learn to accept it and not let it define me, because it doesn’t.

I write all of this because it’s important to gauge just how human and ill-functioning I am. I want to put myself on the show, just so you can see how much your life can change, for better and worse. But at the end of the day, all that matters are you, your mental health and the memories which will allow you to greet death as an old friend; life doesn’t have to be one big game of life, it can just be an experience – a chance.

I’ve gone from a young girl with very little understanding of myself to a grown woman who has found more than just survival, I’ve found purpose, passion, and life. I can remember days where I would self-harm because I knew no other way to let the pain out. I remember a whole year where I drank daily, I was an alcoholic at 14 years old because I was so ashamed of the thoughts in my head. I remember suicide attempts, crying into my pillow or locking myself in toilets because I was so alone; I just needed someone to be there for me, to listen.

My life has been tragic in some ways but that has all passed, what matters now is the moments I am living in currently and the future I will soon find; my goal is to help others get to this point of thinking too.

I don’t envy those who are living a seemingly ‘healthier’ or ‘better’ life than me because really, every second that has existed in my own life, has crafted me into this person I am now. The person who has many scars that have healed beautifully, both physically and mentally. The person who has more strength, empathy, and understanding. The person who has found self-respect for herself but has also given time to help others. You see, happiness is not a state, it’s a feeling and therefore we cannot be permanently happy; we need to do more of what makes us happy and what rewards our own mind; for me, that’s helping others.

In 2014, my father passed away by suicide. It was for certain, the most traumatic event of my life, which led to three years where I was living in this state of complete shock. I stopped feeling, I stopped living and really, I felt like I had died with my father. All I wanted was to see him again, hear his voice and give him a hug like I had done pretty much every day for the last 18 years. It was all so sudden and like many suicide, survivors may understand, left me not knowing what to do with myself, or my life.

But after four years of my new life without my father. I came to this realization that I did not need to move on, why would I want to ‘move on’ from every memory, or even the existence that my father had blessed me with. Instead, I embraced the days where I would cry and miss him, I accepted that he was not coming back but instead of moving on from his death, I learned to adjust.

I was told that same year, after a conversation about the huge lack of support for people left behind after a suicide, that rather than sit and hope something changes, I could do something about it. I think many of us do complain about things in the world but very few of us actually stand up and make a difference, though, we have no guarantee that someone else will fix the problem for us. The simple phrase of “You may not change the world on your own, but you can make a change in the world” really made me think.
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Wishing my daughter well for her recent dance show with the usual phrase: “break a leg,” got me thinking. Where do some of our enigmatic sayings and phrases come from?

Such as: “Got hold of the wrong end of the stick,” “fell off the wagon,” and indeed, the origins of that wonderful word “cliché”?  We all use them without really thinking. But what is their true meaning from the dim and distant past?

I’ve actually held a cliché in my hand. Well, a cliché tray, anyway, in the mid 1970s. While it originally stemmed from a 19th Century French verb "clicher", which roughly means to stereotype, the word became popular in the printing industry. Newspaper typesetters realised that certain journalists used the same phrases over and over again, and kept them in a special tray of type, which they simply pulled out and slotted in while they were making up the page.

No-one really knows where many of our everyday sayings came from, but here are a couple of popular theories or myths: 

Break a leg has many possible origins, including the quaint belief that by wishing someone bad luck, the opposite will occur. The most plausible, however, seems to revolve around encores.  In traditional stage curtains, the legs of the curtain were constructed from long wooden rods. In the case of many encores, curtains would be lifted and dropped numerous times causing them to break.

The wrong end of the stick: I’ll leave it to your imagination to finish the end of the story. Toilet paper hadn’t been invented in Roman times, so they used a sponge on a stick…

Falling off the wagon: During Prohibition in 19th century America, men often climbed onto wagons and took an oath they would give up alcohol and drink only water. This gave rise to the expression ‘to be on the wagon.’ And when they broke their pledge and started hitting the bottle again, they were said to have ‘fallen off the wagon.’
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I’ll drink to that. 

Connect with Marta Moran Bishop:
Website: www.martamoranbishop.com/
​ Twitter:  twitter.com/moranbishop
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• Knife sweeps in Loughborough and Leicester resulted in weapons being seized and arrests made during anti knife crime campaign.
• The proactive and cohesive partnership work demonstrated at the explosion on Hinckley Road, with colleagues from Local Authority, Emergency Services, and the local community.

​Leicestershire Police has made good progress in the Her Majesty’s Inspectorate of Constabulary (HMIC) assessment 2017, making significant changes to improve the overall quality of service it provides for victims of crime, particularly those who are vulnerable. Officers have been recognised with having the appropriate skills, knowledge and understanding to identify and protect vulnerable people within the community.

Mental Time website: Mental Time  
Mental Time Twitter:  twitter.com/MentalTimeUK